You’re wondering who aren’t you? I mean my father Jesus. I’ll tell you what, for a very long time in my life I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Honestly, I was, I kind of still do but I’ll tell you what’s happening now. During the last quarter of 2021, I got a consulting gig in New Orleans for over Two months. Then just this last Two weeks, I found myself in Santa Barbara, CA. These Two opportunities were such a blessing to me and I wondered why God brought them my way, knowing I have to be away from home?
Truth is, He knew my body, soul and spirit needed it. It was a time of some separation from my normalcy and when I was alone, I had time to think, rethink, dream and re-dream, plan and unplan. You just think about everything your brain could process and I was processing them faster than a computer’s Central Processing Unit (CPU). One thing stood out, that my life thus far hasn’t been light. It has been quite a heavy one. One of these nights, as I laid quietly in my room, I felt GOD asking me, “do you trust Me?” I said “ I DO”. Then I asked myself this time, if I trust God then why do I worry so much about everything? There was stillness everywhere and I quickly reflected on all the challenges, obstacles and situations I faced and how God prevailed and continues to prevail. So truly, why am I still worrying and keeping a long list of things that must happen and I am working so hard to figure it out on my own?
I came to the end of myself and I said a heartfelt prayer – “Father, save me from myself”. It felt like a self-deliverance session for me that night. I sensed an unusual calmness in my spirit and in my mind. Somehow I felt I had let go of something and someone was receiving it with an outstretched hand. I have taken a different approach to my life. I’ll give it my ALL in excellence but not doing it on my own strength because the Lord knows I’ve crashed a few times on my own. I have to completely trust the same Father who has carried me and continues to carry me daily. To not allow any one or any situation to project any doubt, fear, worry or anxiety into my day. Even when I don’t see the sun, I will still trust Him. I know it sounds hard to do but honestly, He has never forsaken me. He has never disappointed me or abandoned me. Even the tough situations I got myself into by following my own will, He saved me from it. So why can’t I trust Him? With all the news of accidents on the road that we read every morning, has it deterred any of us from getting into our cars and driving? Look at how COVID silenced the world for almost a year, have we stopped living because of it? I even trusted the pilots to fly me safely to and from my destinations without ever thinking for a minute that they are human beings and can make mistakes.
Seriously, whichever way I turn, going to bed and waking up every morning is a risk on its own. Life is a risk and only God, the One who created it, can give us the security we need in life. I’ve written this scripture boldly on my heart and mind as a alert system to ensure that I don’t so relapse into worrisome self anymore;
Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP
Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. [a]In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].
I want the best out of life, and if Jeremiah 29:11 was spoken by Him, then I know He wants the best for me and everyone else. But, doing life on our own will cause us to crash. Whatever weight you’re carrying, can I ask you to try what I did? Leave it all to the Father and see what He does with it. You’ll be amazed – doing life with Jesus is easier!
XOXO,
Lady Abena.