Teach People How To Treat You
Consider this my second nugget of “Life Practices” that I am sharing with you. There’s a famous quote by Tony Gaskins which says, “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” Truer words have never been spoken don’t you think? People especially from my part of the world are sometimes polite to a fault and if care is not taken, we allow all kinds of nonsense to parade in and around our lives and we call it humility by tolerating others’ bad behavior towards us. I’ve also noticed that most people like to see what they can get away with and if you allow them, it will become the standard by which they treat you. Sometimes they will say, “I was just joking with you” and I’m thinking to myself, you couldn’t find anything nice or fun to joke about but something disrespectful? No, it wasn’t a joke, they try to see how much they can get away with.
I’ve been a victim several times when I was practicing patience and even sometimes just trying to be vulnerable. Not very long ago, God cautioned me with a scripture, Matthew 7:6 NLT, “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. [a] Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.” Yup, I sighed just as you did. It’s amazing what you’ll find in the bible - can be quite harsh to hear but it is what we need to hear.
I stopped suffering foolishness and ignorance and yes I set very respectful boundaries with my loved ones and also acquaintances. My dear, if you are sacrificing and investing time and resources into becoming the person God created you to become, one that has been bought at an invaluable price by Jesus, then NO, you shouldn’t allow people to trivialize and disrespect you just because they think they can or that you’re such a nice person or because you’re breaking bread with them in the name of Christianity. Lately, I have no problem putting people in their place and I’ve learned to stand up for myself. I will never throw a stone at someone but if they do, Newton’s 3rd law will be activated at a much higher level, (for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction). Being a Christian who is deeply devoted to God doesn’t mean you’re stupid for you to make a doormat of yourself for anyone to walk on. Respect yourself, set very high standards of excellence and treat others the same way you want to be treated. If they don’t value or reciprocate it, then draw a line of demarcation and move on. There are still over 8 billion people on this planet.
I pray for you this week that the Lord will give you the grace and wisdom to handle the different situations and people you’ll encounter daily. AMEN!
Xoxo,
Lady Abena.
Pursue Good Knowledge
I mentioned in my blog last week that I’ll be sharing some life practices that have helped me greatly and continue to be a blessing to me. In my son’s words, “sharing is caring mommy.” Consider this “Life Practice Number One” pursuing good knowledge. Do you know that for most people, since they graduated from school, they have not picked up any book to read? Very few people are committed to reading and we have become victims of this generation who would rather scroll through pictures or watch short clips on social media than pick up a book or an article to read. Thanks to technology, we now have digital books, audio and other formats. I mentioned “Good Knowledge” because whatever book or information you choose to invest your time in must be something that edifies you and progresses your life somehow.
Reading requires that you carve out time in your busy day to make it happen. For the average person, working and taking care of families and other commitments, it’s almost impossible to make out that time. Here’s what I committed to, 30 minutes every night to read a chapter of a book. I also spend another hour reading the scriptures and praying before I sleep. I canceled my cable television subscription about 3 years ago because I had gone for a whole year without watching a single show on TV. I spend that time on reading a life-building book and studying the bible. It’s a huge sacrifice I’ve had to make but to be honest with you, it has paid off for me greatly. I’ve seen growth in every area of my life and I don’t intend to stop this life practice until the day I die.
The bible even cautions that “my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.”, (Hosea 4:6(a)). So, in everything you chase in life, be sure to chase knowledge so you are empowered in your decision making. Find that 30 minutes each day to read and yes, you might need to reduce your social media time or frivolous conversations or gossip with people but it’s worth it. Our lives and destinies are so precious and we cannot leave it to chance.
I pray for you this week that you will receive the grace to make time to pursue good knowledge so you can accomplish everything you set your mind to. AMEN!
XOXO,
Lady Abena.
How’s Your 2024 So Far?
January is an overly sensitive month for me - and for most people too. You find yourself in a new chapter of life and it can be exciting and scary at the same time. You look ahead into the next 12 months, read over your goals and plans for the year a billion times and then all kinds of emotions kick in. They kick in because for most of us, we had almost the same goals and plans for the last few years but they did not materialize so you’re wondering if this might be your year of breakthrough or come December 31, you’ll be staring at the same list of goals and plans.
For me, my January is a little more heavier - closing the year 2023, activating new initiatives, lots of business policies and processes to change or implement, renewing contracts, ending contracts, looking for new opportunities, trying to keep tabs on clients, staff, team members, family members, friends, everything and everyone. If you spend just 5 minutes in my head you will not survive. I’m serious about it so stay right outside of it 😂. Add on the raging INFLUENZA that caught me off guard for the last 2 weeks, these not so friendly snow storms here and there and Satan is also busy, kicking and throwing tantrums at us at every turn and corner. Whew! It's one HECK of a January I have to say. I don’t drink caffeine and sometimes I’m surprised how I make it through long hours in the day. I guess that’s a special grace from God that I do not take for granted.
In the midst of all these thoughts and activities, I work on keeping my peace and staying calm and focused. Matter of fact, I have experienced what He calls, "I give my beloved sleep." I sleep soundly at night in spite of all the frenetically busy schedules I live through in the day. Only God can do that. One scripture that keeps me sturdy is Isaiah 54:10 AMP;
““For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,
Nor will My covenant of peace be shaken,”
Says the Lord who has compassion on you.”
However your year is starting off, hopefully not as heavy as mine, I pray the same for you that you’d be reminded daily of God’s covenant to keep you at peace and secure. Be blessed this week and I’ll share some life practices with you in the coming weeks that have helped me greatly. AMEN!
XOXO,
Lady Abena.