Oh yes I did have my plans! Do you know the downside of an A-type person? You plan everything and you really do not appreciate disruptions. Well, I am the A++ type of a person and that means my brain sees it and it already plans it from the foundation to roofing in a split second. If and only if you knew how many things my brain processes in a minute, you would definitely not want to live there. During my personal retreat in December and early January, I had the opportunity to take an inventory of my life and I decided to look at the last decade of my life. Well, let’s just say it got me emotional for at least 24 hours.
I was married, I have a beautiful son, God took me from waiting on a paycheck to going to fish and also baking my own bread. I saw a potential that I didn’t even know I carried. I went through a life-threatening experience and had a major surgery in which God showed me His miraculous healing power (I have no single scar on my body to show you what I had endured – He made sure of that). I had plans for happily ever after, for better or worse and until death do us apart, 2 more beautiful and healthy children, building an empire and as the plans were, by now, I should have been traveling the world and enjoying the rewards of my labor. Oh there’s so much more – my vision board will scare you but they were all on track to happen. The only problem was, I didn’t take it to God because honestly, none of them included Him or anything to do with His kingdom. I have shared with you how I grew up in a house of Ministry and wanted nothing to do with it. I conveniently kept God at bay even though He was the one making everything happen for me. I am hardworking, diligent, loyal, committed and very disciplined so hey, I thought those were just what were working on my behalf.
Then it all came crashing down and boy, did it all crash. I’ll spare you the horrid details because I don’t need you feeling sorry for me. It was my initiation process in leading me to Jesus Christ and what He had written in my book before I came here to earth. Did you know that I had heard Proverbs 19:21 AMP several times and I really didn’t give any meaning to it?
“Many plans are in a man’s mind, But it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand (be carried out).”
Let’s just say that this scripture is as real as it reads. All the plans I had were really wasting God’s agenda over my life. I can imagine Him getting to His wits end when He saw that if He left me alone, I’d be completely gone and then He’d had to orchestrate a whole intervention that would have been quite unbearable. Even in this phase of brokenness that I endured, I thought I would not survive it – the pain, the heartache, the fears, the betrayal, neglect, humiliation – you just name it. Like Job lamented in Job 32:25 KJV, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me”. If Job were a female, that would be me. Everything I feared in life I met so now, there’s nothing else left to fear. Not even death. Little did I know God allowed it all to happen to bring me closer to Him and get His attention and He surely got my attention really well. He now has me at a place where I am totally dependent on Him. It’s a lesson I will not want you to endure so if you have the opportunity to include God in your life now, please do it ASAP!
Truth is, He might not do that with everyone – our assignments on earth differ from each other but one thing is certain, His plans and purposes for your life are what will prevail in the end. My brain still makes plans by the way, it’s a characteristic inherent in me and He knows that. Only thing is, after going through all the time to make the plans, I throw it all back to Him and say, “nevertheless, let Your will be done and not mine”. It has been a rewarding experience thus far so I decided to burn all my ships and the lifeboats and life jackets. Where He leads I follow, when He says stay, I stay. When He says NO, I know it’s a NO and when He doesn’t say anything, I know to wait until He’s ready to speak. Don’t get me wrong, It’s not a robotic relationship that I have with Christ because I am a tough negotiator and things have to be tangible for me, including Him and His glory over my life. Maybe to you, He is just a spirit but to me, He is a spirit and can also be tangible to me. If he walked on earth, then He still has the capability to make me see Him as real as He can be. He knows my form so He deals with me in a way only He can. Ultimately, He wins all the time but He gives me passes too which I don’t hesitate to take advantage of.
Whatever your plans are, let me nudge you to bring it ALL to Him and ask Him to do what He wants to do with your life.
XOXO,
Lady Abena.
Thank you for sharing this piece. God has plans always for our good. When they are unfolding we usual do not realise how good they are. Always remember, He created you and He knows the purpose for which you were made.