Why Our Ears Sometimes Turn Off
I think a proper title for this blog would have been “The Truth Taboo” but, let me keep you intrigued. I hope you’ve been well lately and all is ‘kosher’ at your end. I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking in the recent times - reviewing people, situations and circumstances more closely than I used to. It seems like most people avoid wanting to hear the truth. I mean, they’ll rather you look the other way or pretend like you did not even notice what’s wrong. At first I was very confused because pretense is not my strong suit but as I delved deeper into the various situations, I came up with several reasons why people turn their ears off from hearing the truth.
For most people, the truth can be uncomfortable because it challenges their beliefs, self-esteem, or current perceptions. When they have to face difficult realities, it might evoke feelings of guilt, shame, or fear of change, making denial or avoiding tempting options.
Some people also fear the consequences of truth, for example, the truth might damage relationships, cause them to face criticism, or risk being embarrassed. Sometimes, the truth conflicts with personal or societal narratives that provide comfort or stability, leading some individuals to prefer ignorance over discomfort. In some cases, there’s a natural human tendency to protect oneself from emotional pain or upheaval. Avoiding the truth can also be a defense mechanism designed to preserve a sense of control or self-image.
The reasons are countless but the weight and burden of carrying or living a lie supersedes all these reasons for hearing the truth. While the truth can be tough, I strongly believe that embracing it often leads to growth, understanding, and better decisions. The bible tells us in Ephesians 4:25 (NIV) that we must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to each other for we are all members of one body (Paraphrased). So, why can’t we just be truthful to one another and ease off from the burden of carrying a pretense or having to look the other way?
My prayer this week is that we will all be empowered to encourage open and compassionate communication that can help create a safe space where people feel more willing to confront difficult realities. Embracing the truth will help us deal with issues in a much healthier way to bring about growth and peace. Always remember that FORGIVENESS is available to all.
XOXO,
Lady Abena.
Declarations For September 2025
Welcome to the month of September, a month of divine birthing, for fresh hope, renewal, and trusting in God’s divine plans for our lives. Anchor your hearts and minds on Isaiah 66:7-13:
"Before she was in labor, she gave birth; before her pain came, she delivered a boy. Who has heard of such a thing? Who has seen such a thing? Will a land be born in one day? Will a nation be brought forth all at once? As soon as Zion travailed, she also brought forth her sons. Shall I bring to the birth, and not cause to be delivered?” says the Lord; or shall I cause to be delivered, and shut the womb?” says your God. “Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her— that you may nurse and be satisfied with her comforting breasts, that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious abundance.”
Declare with me;
- This month, I declare that new seasons of breakthrough and divine restoration are upon me. Just as a land is born in a moment, God will birth new opportunities, hopes, and blessings in my life. His promises are sure, and His plans for me are good, even when I face challenges.
- I will rejoice and be glad, trusting that God’s comfort and abundance are overflowing in my life. As I embrace whatever lies ahead, I know that God is with me, guiding me through labor pains into a future filled with purpose, joy, and divine fulfillment.
- This September, I walk in faith, expectant of His marvelous works, and I celebrate the new things He is doing in and through me.
Let this be so and so it is in Jesus’ name. AMEN!
XOXO,
Lady Abena.
The Brand Called ‘YOU’
A few years ago, in a marketing class, we were asked to develop a marketing plan using ourselves as the brand. While I made an ‘A’ grade in that paper I did wonder what the Professor was thinking - asking us to be our own brand. When I read over the paper in later years, I understood that he wanted us to identify our own individuality and uniqueness, and also, be able to position ourselves strongly in this world. As I have developed over the years, I notice how unsettling it is for me to be anything other than myself.
Embracing your authentic self is one of the most empowering decisions you can make. Being authentic means staying true to your values, beliefs, and feelings, rather than trying to conform to others’ expectations. It’s about presenting your genuine self in all situations, whether in relationships, at work, or in your personal life.
If you grew up in the environment I did, it’s an environment of conformity. For “my people”, if you’re anything other than the norm, there’ll be conversations about you. Acceptance and embracing uniqueness is not our strongest suit. Today more than ever, the pressure for us to fit into certain molds or meet external expectations makes it challenging to stay true to who you are. People have opinions about what they think you should do or be and yet they have not applied the same principle to their own lives.
I love how my family members believe they have studied me down to science - even though I have not spent so many years with them as an adult and the majority of my childhood was also spent in boarding school. For instance, when I order for clothes to be made for me in Ghana, and, the seamstress chooses to sew something she thinks I would like, my cousins will tell her straight up that “she will not wear this” and like clock work, as soon as I see it, I tell the designer to give it away as I won’t wear it.
A contractor learned the hardest lesson when he was remodeling my bathroom. He thought he would impress me by picking some tiles with designs in it and my mother had told him that “Abena will not like these tiles.” The contractor told my mom that those tiles are modern designs and that’s what “everyone” is using now. He went ahead to tile up the entire bathroom to impress me. My mom allowed him to because she wanted him to learn a thing or two about me. As soon as he was done, they called me on FaceTime and when I saw the tiles, I politely told him to remove them from the walls and redo them with a plain design as I had initially ordered. My folks were smiling in the background and for good reason. I heard my elder sister tell him that “we told you so.” I mean, just because that is what “everyone” uses does not mean I will use that.
Listen, I know very well I have my own ways and approach about things and it’s perfectly OK. The Bible reveals in Psalm 139:14 (NIV) how God intentionally created each of us in a wonderful and unique way;
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Being authentic means recognizing and appreciating your individual self - talents, skills, quirks, and even imperfections, all as part of God's wonderful creation. When you live, fully aligned with your true self, you exude confidence and inner peace, attracting genuine relationships and opportunities that honor who you truly are. When you’re authentic, you’re more comfortable and confident, which allows your true qualities to shine through. This level of honesty also encourages others to be real and vulnerable, creating a more meaningful and honest environment.
My prayer for you this week is that you will never forget that you don’t need to conform to anyone’s standards to be valuable. Especially if those standards do not increase you or sew seeds of excellence in your life. Your authenticity is a reflection of God's incredible work in you. Celebrate the things that make your personality unique. Live boldly, and trust that you are exactly who you are meant to be - fearfully and wonderfully made. Embrace life long learning and excellence to be better each day but my golly - stay true to your brand.
XOXO,
Lady Abena.