Yesterday was my commissioning service as a Lay Preacher of the Methodist Church Ghana. The service was beautiful and deeply impactful, yet the journey into that sacred moment began in a place of quiet struggle. I woke up in the morning feeling overwhelmed, with many thoughts running through my mind. After two years of training, preparation, and examinations, in which by God’s grace I excelled, I still found myself questioning my heart and asking the Holy Spirit if He truly considered me worthy of this ministry. In my tears I asked the Lord so many questions. What if I let You down, Jesus. What if I fail? What if my weaknesses become too loud? These questions poured out from a heart that desires to honor God and never treat His presence or His work as familiar or casual.
Throughout my Christian journey, I have longed to serve God with reverence and excellence. Whatever I have to do for Him, I desire to give my all and my very best, because He knows my heart toward Him. Yet it is often in that very longing to honor God that feelings of unworthiness rise to the surface. I remembered that throughout Scripture God consistently called those who felt unqualified, uncertain, and small in their own eyes. He called Moses, who doubted his speech. He called Jeremiah, who felt too young. He called Gideon, who saw himself as the least. The pattern of God has never been to search for the most confident, but for the surrendered. He chooses vessels that tremble, in order to display that the power belongs to Him and not to us.
In that tender morning moment, God met me in my questions. He did not rebuke my tears, but He gently calmed my spirit and quieted my fears. Through His Word and His inner whisper, He reminded me that He who calls is also the One who equips, sustains, and finishes what He begins. He reassured me that this ministry is not built on my perfection, but on His unfailing grace. He wrapped my heart with the promise of His presence, reminding me that He is with me always, even to the end of the age. To anyone who feels unworthy, unsure, or too small for what God is calling you into, take courage. God calls those of us who feel unworthy, so that His strength may be made perfect in our weakness. He is not asking you to be enough on your own. He is asking you to trust that He is with you, and that He will be with you until the end of times.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank You for calling me in my weakness; calm my fears, fill me with Your Spirit, and help me to serve You faithfully, knowing that You are with me always, even to the end of the age. Let this be so and so it is in Jesus name. AMEN.
Xoxo,
Lady Abena.