A few years ago, in a marketing class, we were asked to develop a marketing plan using ourselves as the brand. While I made an ‘A’ grade in that paper I did wonder what the Professor was thinking – asking us to be our own brand. When I read over the paper in later years, I understood that he wanted us to identify our own individuality and uniqueness, and also, be able to position ourselves strongly in this world. As I have developed over the years, I notice how unsettling it is for me to be anything other than myself.
Embracing your authentic self is one of the most empowering decisions you can make. Being authentic means staying true to your values, beliefs, and feelings, rather than trying to conform to others’ expectations. It’s about presenting your genuine self in all situations, whether in relationships, at work, or in your personal life.
If you grew up in the environment I did, it’s an environment of conformity. For “my people”, if you’re anything other than the norm, there’ll be conversations about you. Acceptance and embracing uniqueness is not our strongest suit. Today more than ever, the pressure for us to fit into certain molds or meet external expectations makes it challenging to stay true to who you are. People have opinions about what they think you should do or be and yet they have not applied the same principle to their own lives.
I love how my family members believe they have studied me down to science – even though I have not spent so many years with them as an adult and the majority of my childhood was also spent in boarding school. For instance, when I order for clothes to be made for me in Ghana, and, the seamstress chooses to sew something she thinks I would like, my cousins will tell her straight up that “she will not wear this” and like clock work, as soon as I see it, I tell the designer to give it away as I won’t wear it.
A contractor learned the hardest lesson when he was remodeling my bathroom. He thought he would impress me by picking some tiles with designs in it and my mother had told him that “Abena will not like these tiles.” The contractor told my mom that those tiles are modern designs and that’s what “everyone” is using now. He went ahead to tile up the entire bathroom to impress me. My mom allowed him to because she wanted him to learn a thing or two about me. As soon as he was done, they called me on FaceTime and when I saw the tiles, I politely told him to remove them from the walls and redo them with a plain design as I had initially ordered. My folks were smiling in the background and for good reason. I heard my elder sister tell him that “we told you so.” I mean, just because that is what “everyone” uses does not mean I will use that.
Listen, I know very well I have my own ways and approach about things and it’s perfectly OK. The Bible reveals in Psalm 139:14 (NIV) how God intentionally created each of us in a wonderful and unique way;
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Being authentic means recognizing and appreciating your individual self – talents, skills, quirks, and even imperfections, all as part of God’s wonderful creation. When you live, fully aligned with your true self, you exude confidence and inner peace, attracting genuine relationships and opportunities that honor who you truly are. When you’re authentic, you’re more comfortable and confident, which allows your true qualities to shine through. This level of honesty also encourages others to be real and vulnerable, creating a more meaningful and honest environment.
My prayer for you this week is that you will never forget that you don’t need to conform to anyone’s standards to be valuable. Especially if those standards do not increase you or sew seeds of excellence in your life. Your authenticity is a reflection of God’s incredible work in you. Celebrate the things that make your personality unique. Live boldly, and trust that you are exactly who you are meant to be – fearfully and wonderfully made. Embrace life long learning and excellence to be better each day but my golly – stay true to your brand.
XOXO,
Lady Abena.